I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
