so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize