is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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