so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
