She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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