I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
kristin has been a bad kristin
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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