i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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