everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
is wine microwaveable?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
