there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
