i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
