My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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