I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
