did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
