Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize