hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So vagazzling was a success
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
