I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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