drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize