; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
