tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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