I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
