I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
