I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
