remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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