you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
