im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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