Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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