Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
