So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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