For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
