Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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