Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
