Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize