Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
