her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
