im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
