the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
