maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
