She's JV to your varsity
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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