I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
