I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
