On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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