READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
