her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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