absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
