Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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