i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
