New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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