talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This house was built for laser tag.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
