Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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