I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
