I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
