It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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