okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize