32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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