Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
