thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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