The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
