Will you blow on my dice?
If that was your dad, he is hot
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
